I don’t know how to start this post because I don’t even know what day it is. Merry Christmas? We have entered the weird black hole that is the last week of the year. It still feels like a holiday but we’re kind of working but kids are home but not on normal routines. It’s a little chaotic but kind of lazy. My brain and body are confused. This probably makes it the worst week of the year to try to reflect and goal set, but here we are— every single year.
I LOVE all things goal setting and intention aligning. Despite knowing the overwhelming number of resolutions don’t stick, I can’t not set them. I have and always will.
A few years ago I did start naming a “word of the year” on top of setting my goals. It gave me a little more guidance and something to fall back on when the resolution inevitably started to falter. I could align myself and my decisions to the word. I don’t even remember what all of my past words have been: Connection and Health are a few. For this year though I think I’ve settled on the word “Consistent.”
It is the word that comes up for me most often right now. Consistency in my habits, with movement, with food and body stuff, with my business, with social media, with self-care, and even in my parenting and marriage. Showing up and putting effort forth in ways that serve me and the people around me and committing to that in a way that allows me to see things all the way through.
I am an ideas girl. I have a lot of big ideas. A lot. I tend to dive head-first into them with a ton of momentum and then I burn out and lose motivation and the big idea goes to the idea graveyard to rot. This doesn’t serve me or anyone else. In fact, it often makes me feel super scattered as I bounce from idea to idea and task to task.
I was talking to a friend about how this exact thing shows up in basically every area of my life. Because on top of being an idea girlie, I am also a perfectionist. I tend to approach everything with an all-or-nothing mentality. I’m either going to work out every single day at 5:00am or I’m not going to move at all. I’m either going to eat totally clean and cut out all extra sugar or I’m not going to touch a vegetable for a week. I’m either going to read every single night and tear through four books in a month or I’m not going to read anything for three months. At no point in my life have I found middle ground.
Living with this all-or-nothing mentality is hard because it always sets me up for failure. And my perfectionist parts are really good (and well-practiced) at letting me know when I inevitably step out of line. And then the guilt and shame pile on and the self-sabotaging habits step right in and take over. It is a vicious and intense cycle.
My friend had an idea and planted a seed in my brain. She asked if I had ever approached my goal setting from a habits perspective instead of just the task or goal. For example, instead of saying I’m going to eat clean (which is big and lofty and not always practical), I could say I’m going to prioritize protein at meals. Or even say that I am going to make myself breakfast every day (knowing there will be days here and there where this just isn’t an actual option). If I do those things I am much more likely to make healthy choices to support it. Making breakfast usually looks like eggs and more protein and fruit and not a poptart or bowl of cereal. If I prioritize protein I’m more likely to eat an actual meal and not kid scraps. The goal would be focusing on injecting habits or rituals throughout my day that could help shift my mentality away from the perfectionist checklist a little bit. Consistency with these small actions will lead to habits that positively impact my days and well-being.
I’ve been super intrigued by this idea and trying to think through what it could look like. My friend suggested time blocking 30 minutes or one hour each day for “mental health care.” Some days that would mean movement, but others it might look like journaling or meditating. Now, in full disclosure, I haven’t been able to nail down how to build this as a habit yet. Because I have a feeling I would opt out of movement more than would actually serve me because the motivation just isn’t always there. Sometimes the action has to come first. But I do like the idea of creating a framework that could help me prioritize little self-check-ins and build in more intention. (I’ll report back after I figure out what this looks like for me. You know I love a good self-experiment.) Consistency with those self-check-ins allows me to listen to myself and continue to get reacquainted with my wants and needs.
I’m also brainstorming about the routines I already have. Do they serve me or am I on auto-pilot? What can I shift to work even better? How can I attach some of these new ideas to existing structures to make them even easier to stick to? That “biggest, bravest life” I’m always talking about— am I still living into that? Am I giving myself time and space to grow and evolve?
2023 has been so good to me. All of us were healthy. We traveled more than we ever have before. We took a Make-A-Wish trip to Disney, we visited family in Kansas and Michigan, and we spent a week at the beach with family in Florida. Every trip was somehow exactly what we needed. My kids are in school and loving it. And when they’re home we seem to be in a phase where most days we really enjoy each other and being together (not always but we’re human and that’s parenting). I brought back my blog and have consistently been writing every week. I started my business. I’ve connected with phenomenal women and helped them create copy and content that breathed fresh life into their businesses. And in meeting these women and listening to their needs I was able to shift and lean into a new chapter of coaching and online courses. New opportunities to continue to unfold and I find myself excited to sit down and work each day.
Sitting here right now and looking back on 2023, I am completely overwhelmed with gratitude. I could have never predicted what this year would bring. It is so beyond my wildest imagination. I just keep thinking, “thank god I got out of my own way.”
Looking ahead to 2024 I find myself hoping for more of exactly this. More saying yes to myself. More chasing my dreams. More prioritizing connection. More authenticity. More honesty. More presence. More of all the things that are leaving me in awe today. I don’t know what 2024 will hold but I am excited to find out. I’m hopeful that with consistency all the seeds I planted in 2023 will start to take root and bloom in 2024.
Cheers to everything we overcame and accomplished in 2023. All the things nobody saw but that we bravely faced. All the ups and downs and twists and turns. All the tears and all the laughs. Here’s to hoping for more of the things that bring us fulfillment in 2024. Cheers to showing up as the best versions of ourselves and being open to goodness and joy!
I’ll be talking about all things goal setting, intention aligning, resolution claiming, etc. on my Instagram. Join me there! I’d love to hear what you’re up to!
With so much love and gratitude,
Am