Recently I have been reading Jamie Kern Lima’s book called Worthy and it has my brain buzzing! She specifically talks about the difference between self-confidence and self-worth. And dives into how we “don’t soar to the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at your level of self-worth.” When I tell you I’ve been chewing on that particular thought for a full week now…oof…I am convinced, in both life and business, the Universe is trying to teach me about self-worth right now.
For months now I have been drawn to resources, pages, and people who seem to be a few steps ahead of me in their inner work journey. Something that keeps coming up over and over and over again is journaling but also visualizing their life as their highest or best self. Every time I sit down to do this a few things happen.
1. I talk MYself Out Of It.
My anxious perfectionism and limiting beliefs show up loud and proud and interfere. I either question every single thing I write down or talk myself out of it completely. And I refuse to believe that is my highest self showing up riddled with stress and shame and anxiety!
2. I Write About Hypotheticals.
What do I mean? Stick with me for a minute. Instead of writing “I am someone who…” I write, “I want to be someone who…” The difference is subtle. There’s an extra layer in between. There’s a disconnect. It stays as an imagined future reality instead of something concrete.
Then if I do catch myself and actively make the choice to switch my language to be more active I immediately feel like a fraud, start overthinking, and then circle back to number one and talk myself out of it.
3. It Feels Silly.
It feels silly. I know all growth comes from some level of uncomfortability and that most things are hard before they get easy and all that. I get it. But there is something that feels so “woo-woo” about visualizing your future and your highest self. I mean it is literally all a figment of my own imagination. It doesn’t always feel like there’s room for the woo in our society, especially the business world. (I’ll argue that there’s increasingly more room, but it is definitely not the methodology taught in business classes!) Basically, it feels so unserious when I sit down to do it that I convince myself other tasks on my to-do list are more important.
So, what?
I’m sharing all of this because it feels like right now, at this point in my life, this is my work. This is what I have to figure out to unlock the next level. I’d tell you what that is but I can’t (see reasons 1, 2, and 3). Reading Worthy has me thinking on how my lack of self-worth is very likely what is keeping me from being successful in these activities.
At the end of the day, I don’t believe I am someone worthy of building a wildly successful business while also enjoying time with my family and prioritizing my self-care and development. I can rationalize all the reasons why I should be worthy of all that, and yet if I’m being honest with myself I don’t believe it. It feels like the same piece that is keeping me from writing “I am someone who…” and instead keeps defaulting to “I want to be someone who…”
Yes, part of that is a confidence piece and being able to claim it. But it feels so much deeper than that. Reading Jamie’s book is helping connect the dots for me and understanding it feels deeper than that because it is.
The realization that I am going to continue to stay stuck here unless I can figure this piece out…it’s a big one. I am a dreamer. I am an idealist. I can imagine with the best of them. And I do. But I can’t soar to those levels until I figure this out. Until I know and believe in my bones that I am worthy of my wildest dreams.
If you haven’t already read Worthy, definitely go pick up a copy. (…if you can find one. It seems to be sold out everywhere.) And if you’ve sat in this same spot, how did you get unstuck? Did you find your missing piece? What helped? What didn’t? Tell me all the things! I love hearing about your experiences! Message me through the Contact page or on Instagram!
Thanks for reading!
With so much love and gratitude,
Am