How do we care for everyone else when we’re Down and Out?
Many of you know I had shoulder surgery recently, can we talk about the mental gymnastics it takes to prepare for something like that as a mom?! Actually, mental gymnastics doesn’t even do it justice. It’s a freaking Tough Mudder competition or something.
I mean I’m trying to remember the instructions from the five different phone calls I received for pre-op screenings…use this soap, shower at this time, don’t eat after this time, don’t drink after this time, take this med, don’t take this med…and then I have to also make sure my family can continue to function while I’m down and out.
Who is taking the kids to school, does the school have contact info for someone else since I will be unreachable, I should pack their lunches before I go but I should make a list of what goes in which lunch so if I can’t make them tomorrow someone else can, do they have their snacks, does anyone need library books today, who is picking the kids up, are there any after school or evening obligations we need to find rides to, do we have groceries in the house, what can I make for dinner that they can warm up…and that’s just for the actual day of surgery!
Forget that I was told to “count myself out” for two full weeks before getting back into any sort of routine.
Do you know how many things our family will need over the course of TWO WEEKS?! Multiply the list above by fourteen and that gives you some idea. Except now we get to throw in weekends. Who has games? Who has Scouts? Is Dan working? Do we have gifts for those birthday parties? You get the idea.
Am I being dramatic? Maybe. But also, this is my brain. (I’ve shared about my Buffalo Wild Wings brain before. If you haven’t read it, here you go.)
It is no wonder moms so often put off caring for themselves! It is ridiculous the amount of orchestrating it takes just to make it possible. I mean I put off dealing with my hip and shoulder for years, and I can tell you that if it hadn’t been impacting my day-to-day SO much then I would’ve put it off longer. And I am someone with a supportive spouse, family close by, kids who are old enough to chip in, and friends who would drop anything to be here when I need them. The stress is next level.
I don’t have any solutions. Not real ones anyways. But if you’re struggling to prioritize yourself and your own care, I get it.
With so much love and gratitude,
Am